While doing so, the elderly folk would plan for both so you’re able to sleep-in one to house getting per night. When they see that absolutely nothing took place due to worry because of the boy, this new old men, by way of their https://kissbrides.com/spanish-women/ceuta/ sibling, carry out plan out briefing classes to tell the boy just who the fresh lady can be so he is no longer be afraid of girls and you may women. There was a familiar religion that ladies “bite” one of several teens, without one to dares to state contrary viewpoints. Due to this fact trust, boys and girls do not rush for the relationship and you will, because of this, they generally get married at chronilogical age of 29 otherwise thirty five.
This new boy narrates in order to his cousin all the emails of your own girl they have loved and wish to out-of believe it or not than about three, comprising the students people, their uncle, and one relative yet not his mothers, visits the new girl’s household in order that both of these sides know for each other really
Next, mothers and you will uncles ( eni mbumba ) (who owns the children) will always desperate to features the boy or girl discover good appropriate matrimony partner. Though some ones strategies are diminishing, it still setting area of the youth’s path to bringing ong new Chewa.
One of many Chewa , when a guy indicates relationships to an effective girl, this is not noticeable that they’ll get married instantly. There clearly was a process that concerns uncles, aunties, mothers, chiefs, or other important people in the community. ” Even with being seeking the man, your lover doesn’t state “yes” at first suggestion about man. The person needs to justify their condition once or twice before girl nods on the proposal. Thus far, some men stop trying thinking the brand new girl is not trying to find all of them.
With regards to the Chewa culture, it is wrong toward girl to accept a married relationship offer initially experience of a person. The fresh new girl needs to slow down invited so she’s seen just like the “solid,” perhaps not desperate, perhaps not simple, and you may somebody men can be struggle getting.
Taking this new suggestion on very first contact with the man is an effective sign of tiredness in the girl. It indicators the woman is “low priced.” Likewise, in case your man fights back once again to winnings brand new girl immediately after a great slow down from inside the accepting a suggestion, they indicators a robust relationship. Moreover it implies that the guy was strong and durable adequate. Further, it ensures that in the event it face pressures in marriage, one another might be sufficiently strong to deal with factors.
At first, in the event the man matches the fresh new girl, the guy states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Woman, I enjoy you, and you will would love to get married your
This process is called “kufunsira mbeta,” definition relationship offer . In the event the girl in the long run allows, the person provides the girl chikole ( anything real that woman otherwise men can show someone else one to this woman is engaged). Popular issues utilized due to the fact chikole include mikanda (jewelry) , cloth female constantly used to link more its heads, or any other issue things. Giving the woman chikole shows that the man was seriously interested in marrying the fresh new girl and you may suppresses the latest girl out of becoming contacted by the almost every other guys to own wedding proposals. Whenever yet another guy approache your woman, she reveals this new chikole to help you take off your out-of continuous their enhances.
As girl allows the proposition, she recommends the person to inform their particular cousin about any of it. As previously mentioned prior to, one of several Chewa, the fresh new bro is known as mwini mbumba (holder of one’s people regarding the clan). If the people organizes to see new cousin of the girl, the guy doesn’t wade by yourself. To start with, he has to tell his bro regarding girl they have proposed relationship so you can. After they reach the brand new girl’s uncle, their particular cousin will even not alone – he could be usually entered because of the other nearest and dearest of girl however, perhaps not their own mothers. Once the new boy’s group comes, they take part in discussions titled malonje (introductions and you can inviting opinions).